Gulo

     Malinaw pa rin sa akin ang lahat ng aking alaala; pagkalabas mo ng kalye ay para kang nasa drama ni Coco Martin na kung saan nagsisimula ang araw sa pagbabato ng balisong sa bawat isa. Siyempre kasama sa main cast si Tatay! Siya lang naman ang dinadakila ng mga kapitbahay namin pagdating ng alas-dos ng umaga dahil sa mga binibenta niyang mga paketeng parang ticket papuntang langit. Kapag natapos ang bentahan ay siya namang nakawan ng mga pakete kapag sumabit ang biyahe. Kapag ayaw mo namang magpanakaw, buhay mo na lang ang pantubos gamit ang balisong... basta, ikaw na lang ang bahalang pumili sa dalawa.

     Hindi na ako nagtataka sa estado ng buhay namin ngayon. Oo, kumikita si Tatay, pero kanya lang 'yon; ipangbibili niya kasi ng mga luho niya. Siya rin naman kasi ang numero unong panatiko ng mga binibenta niya. Si Nanay naman, ayon, artista rin, pero 'di ko talaga alam kung ano ba talaga kasi mas malabo pa sa kulay ng ilog Pasig 'yong uri ng trabaho niya. Paulit-ulit, pero laging mainit ang mga binabato niyang linya sa araw-araw; na kesyo lecheng buhay daw 'to, wala namang magandang nangyari sa buhay namin... Araw-araw, kung hindi raw kawali, labada naman daw ang kaharap niya. Wala naman daw siyang sinasahod sa pagiging nanay niya sa amin ni Tatay.

     Ilang beses na rin daw niyang natanong sa sarili niya kung ilaw ng tahanan ba talaga ang tingin namin sa kanya o katulong. Buti pa nga raw ang katulong may sinasahod eh. Siya, wala na raw siyang mabili para sa sarili niya, matustusan niya lang daw ang mga kailangan ng buong pamilya dahil nagsosolo sa kita si Tatay. Napapabayaan niya na rin daw ang sarili niya. Pabigat daw kami ni Papa. Wala raw kaming silbi sa bahay dahil napakatatamad namin.

     Dumating din sa punto na takas na takas na siya sa mga responsibilidad niya sa buhay. Naglayas siya sa bahay namin at ang huling sinabi niya ay "wala ka nang ina, mga p***ngina niyo!" Punong puno ako ng pagtatanong sa sarili noong mga panahon na 'yon... na sana may mas nakatatanda akong kapatid na pwede kong mapagtanungan... P*** daw siya Kuya? Si Mama, gano'n daw siya?

     Magulo at masakit pa rin sa damdamin. Maliit pa ako noong mapagsabihan ng mga gano'ng bagay; hindi ko maintindihan kung anong ginawa kong mali pero pakiramdam ko'y kasalanan kong mabuhay... na ako ang pinaka-kontrabida sa lahat nang 'di ko alam ang dahilan; na sana ay hindi nila kinailangang magsama para lamang sa paglaki ng isang supling. Parang dalawang drama sa telebisyon na pilit pinagsasama kahit magkaiba ang time slot ang buhay ko.

(For Creative Non-Fiction purposes only)

D#1

          Hindi ko talaga kayo maintindihan! Namumuhay naman kami ng marangal, pero pilit niyo kaming binubura sa mundo. Palibhasa, may pribilehiyo ang iba sa inyong mamuhay ng masagana; nang 'di naghihirap, nang 'di nagtatrabaho! Kami, kahit anong kayod namin, kahit saan kami lumapit, kahit ilang lugar na ang mapuntahan namin, pare-parehong mababa ang tingin niyo sa amin. Magnanakaw, salot, simula ng kasamaan... kayo na bahalang nagdagdag! Tutal magaling naman kayong mang-apak at manghusga, 'di ba?

         Pero hindi ko rin maintindihan 'yong sarili ko; oo nagagalit ako sa ginagawa niyo sa amin, pero hindi ko kayo kayang labanan. Hindi ako kagaya ng kapatid kong pula na bigla-biglang aatake. Alam niyo ba kung bakit? Kasi naniniwala akong hindi niyo kami sasaktan dahil pare-pareho tayong biniyayaan ng buhay... pero sa tuwing naaalala ko ang kapaitang handog niyo sa aking mga kalahi, doon ko napagtatantong hindi dapat basta-bastang binibigay ang tiwala... kahit sa mga edukado, o malalaking tao pa.

- Itim na Langgam

(for literary purposes only)

Kuwentong Kamay

     Tirik ang araw sa bayan ng Sanip kaya't nagtampisaw sina Juan at Maria sa ilog. Sumama rin sila Pedro at Monching; sina Felgario at Montessa; sina Dodong at Sunay. Ligo, banlaw. Ligo, banlaw. Unti-unti silang dumadami kaya't ang ilog ay unti-unti ring dumudumi. 'Di ito alintana sa kanila kaya't tuloy lang sila sa pagtatampisaw na para bang bawat lublob sa ilog ay siyang paghahanap ng sagot sa mga katanungang sa simula pa lang ay kaya na nilang sagutin; ngunit ayaw lang nilang tanggapin.

     Dumating din ang araw na hindi na sila maaaring magtampisaw sa ilog. Kasing itim na ito ng kaluluwa nila; ngunit walang may gustong linisin iyon. Marami nang sumubok, pero wala namang nagawa kundi titigan lang ang mga dumi na makipaglaro sa tubig.

     Nag-antay sila ng mahabang panahon para may magkusang-loob na manguna sa paglilinis, ngunit wala pa rin. Dumumi na rin ang paligid at nagkaroon ng epidemya. Naging desperado na ang mga tao sa paghahangad ng kalinisan, ngunit wala pa ring may gustong magtrabaho para dito.

     Napakaitim na ng Sanip ngayon. Bulag pa rin ang mga tao sa pagpili ng taong magsisimula ng pagbabago. Sa totoo lang, hindi nila kailangang pumila o mag-antay. Alam na nila iyon sa simula pa lang. Nasa kamay nila ang kalinisan; nasa kamay nila ang pagbabago. Takot lang silang mabahiran ng dumi ang mga kamay nilang iyon. Alam nilang kahit sinong manguna sa pag-lilinis, kung walang may gustong magsimula sa sarili nila ay walang patutunguhan ang lahat. Pero wala eh, gano'n talaga sa Sanip.
     Ay baliktad pala. Parang mga utak nating mga Pilipino ngayon. Bansa nga pala; hindi bayan. 'Pinas' nga pala; hindi 'Sanip'.

[ Sinulat ko 'to no'ng May 5, 2016. Alas-tres na yata ng umaga no'n at 'di pa rin ako makatulog. Nilaan ko na lang ang oras sa pagbuo ng kwento since malapit na rin ang eleksyon no'n. 9 AM ng May 6, 2016 nang pinost ko 'to sa Facebook para magsilbing gabay sa ninanais ng karamihan na 'pagbabago' na nasa kamay lang talaga natin. :) ]

Paradox

Dahil ang buhay ay walang katapusang pagtatanong at paniniwala. Hindi ito katulad ng papalubog na raw sa dapit-hapon na maaasahan mong babalik pagsapit ng umaga.

Walang kasiguraduhan.

Palaging maiipit sa tanong na paano at bakit.

Mabubuhay sa walang katapusang pagtatanong at sa walang hanggang paniniwala— na palaging may pagbabalik sa bawat pag-alis, na may pagbati sa bawat paalam, na palaging may ngiti sa bawat pagluha, na palaging may posibilidad sa pagkakataon, na palaging may magbubukas sa bawat pagsara. Palaging may kasama ang isa pa.

Hindi maaaring wala.

Palaging may oo sa bawat paghindi, tama sa mali, Malabo at malinaw. Kailangan mo lang kumapit sa mga bagay na minamarapat mong paniwalaan.

Kailangang maniwala sa tinitimo ng puso.

Dahil ganoon ang buhay; palaging bumubuo ng posibilidad ang bawat pagtatalik ng paniniwala at pagtatanong.

Natatapos lang ang pagtatanong at posibilidad kapag tumigil ka sa patuloy na pagsubok.

Angelica Diano Morante

via The Artidope

One Thousand, Ninety-Five

I wrote this article for our essay writing contest in 2015. I didn't win, but my friend from the star section did. It's not that I can't accept their decision that I lost, but I felt insulted, and robbed. They judged my work and accused me of copying it from the internet just because I came from a lower section.

I came from a poor family of 12. We rarely eat three times a day and I haven't lived on a peaceful home. I'm from a broken family and I live with my Mom. I have a younger brother whom lives with my dad. I am the eldest one, and my name is Reah.

Since I was young, father told me that we don't need to go to school anymore; for what's important is how to live by ourselves and that doesn't require to go to school... to waste time, money, and effort-- but by knowing how to plant crops, take care of the livestocks and the rice fields... and I completely disagree with that.

I am an ambitious child. I want to grow with flying colors in order to help my parents to raise ourselves from poverty.  My younger brother lowers my self-esteem to reach my ultimate dream-- to reunite our family and be grateful enough to live together, even I know that it's impossible.

It's 10 o'clock already and I should have slept. It's pitch black yet a burning desire lights up the surroundings. I try to find the missing piece, and my feet guided me towards the dusty library. There, I felt chills flow to my spine seeing the thick pile of books in front of me. I know it's making me to feel the urge to read one, and I did.

I picked a book. I started to scan the pages and decided to read it from the start. I know, I didn't go to school, but my mom told and taught me how to read and write because she told me, "It's one of the basic needs of a human to grow." With that, I read the book; I'm so engrossed that the sun smiled and touched my tan skin, telling me to have some rest. @koralike_ | kairms.blogspot.com

I went back to our home and told Mom about it. She's astounded for she thought no one would ever see her hidden crib; the library, which molded her for years... yet wrecked by a man she thought she dreamt and already read from the book, which is my dad.

She didn't disagree nor prohibit me from reading. She inspired me to read some more and we both talk about the books we both read, claiming we're both 'bibliophiles' and served as our bonding.

Every night, I would go to the library before I doze off to sleep. It feels like I'm filled with ecstatic emotions everytime the book takes me to different places... from forests to seas, from heavens and underworlds; I feel like I'm a different person everytime I'm hooked up on the book.

It became my hobby; a piece of me that I don't regret that I've let in. I've let every quote, every majestic word and thunderstriking plots to consume me. This lasted for 1,095 days... and I made a decision to leave my comfort zone; the library, to explore the wonders of my capabilities and apply those in reality, since I've been fully equipped for half of my life. I went to cities all by myself, leaving Mom my promise that I will rise ourselves from poverty. It's hard and vexatious, but I know I will benefit soon.

Years have passed and I became a writer. I became famous and owned a lot of publishing establishments. My life became an inspiration for today's youths, yet I always say to them that I owe it to the library, my mom, and God. The three of them made me forgot that I came from a poor and broken family. I persevered a lot, and I know Mom and God knows all of these.

I got a surprise call from my Mom telling me that Dad decided to complete our family again. Dad didn't knew the epitome of success I've reached, yet I'm blissful that his mind took the realization of family's importance. I told them about my achievements, and they are dumbfounded of what I've become. Our family decided to live in the city I work, and continued to fill up the empty pieces of myself by having leisure time with them through reading.

I am Reah, and this is real. I may be uneducated, but the books accompanied me to the darkest dilemnas of my life; and it took me 1,095 days to proudly say that in reading, hope springs!

Unlabeled You

Unlabeled You is an article made by The Genzette's Editor-in-Chief, Kyla, for her opinion column, Catharsis, which was published last March 11, 2016. It is her first and last opinion column as she bids goodbye in the school publication. The article states her views and personal experiences during her high school life.

     The section that you belong in doesn't define who you are. Being included in the pilot section doesn't mean that you're already a virtuoso. Being included in the lower section doesn't mean you don't excel. @koralike_ | kairms.blogspot.com

     I came from the star section when I first stepped in high school. It was pressuring for others; yet I don't feel it. Even if we're already loaded with numerous tasks, we still managed to watch movies everyday after class. We'll rent multiple CDs and watch it in our home with my friends. Then the next day, we're the topic of the class. My adviser would sarcastically ask us what the movie plot is all about and if we memorized the characters... and how we keep up being sneaky when going on our way home (because we pass by their house so my adviser knows). Thug life indeed.

     I'm an easy-going person, yet I know my priorities very well. Even if me and my friends just chill out, we can still maintain our grades; pass projects right before the deadline, do assignments, and ace the tests all at once.

     Yet maybe that's the reason why I left that section-- because I really don't belong there... for I hate the pressure the teachers are placing on us and the tension with my classmates going on every single time.

     Since I left that section and went to the lower ones, my perspective really changed. To be honest, there's a lot of geniuses scattered on the lower sections, and they deserve slots in the higher ones. I've met a lot of students who are effortlessly smart; who doesn't even need to review, yet keep on slaying the tests. Some are not that knowledgeable, yet extremely equipped with perseverance, creativity, and talent. On the contrary, not all of the students in the star section are deserved to be called one of those precious stars because of various, evident circumstances they are involved.
https://www.xkroalike.blogspot.com | SuperKyla
     My theory why they tranquilly excel is that the lower sections aren't shell-shocked. They are given enough time, and they are not obliged to join 'this' and 'that' just because they are labeled to be the greatest, and they have to win as 'best'. But even if there's a lot of smart wizards on the lower sections, they are still labeled as the "incompetent one". Why? Because people love to judge, and there are a lot of people who always claim the spotlight even if it doesn't suit them.

     What vexes me the most is that when people look down to students from lower sections. It's not fair to stereotype a whole group of students based on one person you've seen to perform in a certain (probably poor) way. We are certain individuals. We have different attributes to show. We are all capable of something that others aren't capable to do.

     Students from lower sections aren't immobilized; they can do what the higher sections can do. Sometimes, they can even execute it way better... so why do we lock up these individuals who possesses great talent into a certain room of judgment just because they aren't from section one?

      To be honest, higher sections must feel grateful, for they have the chance to be called as the "best". Yet they should be also grateful for the serene, lower sections because without them, they won't be called like that.

     I speak from my experience as a writer, and a student who came from two types of sections too. I'm an editor-in-chief of The Genzette, and I also came from the lower section, just like the most of you. If I can, I know you can. I didn't let the label inscribed in me for three years to restrain me from doing something I really do with passion, which is writing. Now, I want you to create your own stand, firmly believe and fight for it.

x

Technologic

     People using phones at the wrong time. A second-grade student has its own iPhone 5. A sixth grade complaining about "why love is ridiculously hurting me" in a social networking site. A 13-year old girl calling another girl a "slut" for flinging with her boyfriend. An 11-year old girl bursting out to tears just because her crush didn't like her recent posts. A 15-year old grumbles where the heck he could he find his forever. An 18-year old  gets hundreds of likes just because of her cleafie (a selfie emphasizing a cleavage).

     Hi guys, welcome to the 21st Century. I bet this is not what you're expecting from the past few years, but all of the statements written above are the saddening truth. Flying cars, robots, advanced technologies, clean environment, high-definition holograms are some of the things I'm expecting (you too, aren't you?) in this generation, but it failed me, you, and all of us here. Different kinds of pollutions, improper garbage disposal, corrupt government officials, high crime rates are just some of the major problems of the world. See the gap of our expectations to the reality? Well, we need to deal with it.

     People using phones at the wrong time. I can't understand why most of the time, people are taking pictures of themselves on events or somebody's special occasion. I'm not saying that taking selfies or groupies is prohibited at any kind of parties, but most of the time, it ends up ignoring the main purpose of that certain event. For example, your friend hosted her birthday party inviting only special people to her heart and luckily, you're one of them. At the party, your other friend surprises the birthday celebrant by handing her the birthday cake and the whole room goes like "Oh boy, this is it, let me take a pic of you and your fab cake," or "Lemme take a twinnie with you!". Come on guys, it is somebody's birthday and it looks pretty rude at any angle because most of you are focusing on their own new status update and not on the birthday celebrant itself. Another example. When people are going to have a dinner at a fancy restaurant and then the food is served. Instead of praying, some of us are taking out their phones and capturing the food and updating their IGs or Twitter accounts. If we're only on the 80's, I guess I would be slapped so hard in the face when I do that.
@koralike_ | kairms.blogspot.com      
     A second-grade student has its own iPhone 5. Probably, I'm playing with Legos or my collection of Hot Wheels and stabbing my Barbie dolls at that age. I would be playing outdoor games with my playmates, reading my textbooks (just in case we would have a test the next day), SLEEPING or practicing to write very fast. In my opinion, kids at these age shouldn't be given these kind of gadgets because if you will, you're not helping them. You're just giving the kid a reason to ruin his/her life at a very young age. She may be socializing, but not in the original way like playing pogs, hopscotch and other games. It's like you're taking his/her life away by giving him/her that kind of destructive material.

     A sixth grade complaining about "why love is ridiculously hurting me" in a social networking site. See how the Internet opens the mind of many children all over the world? They should've been prioritizing their grades... and it's not yet the right time to know about love, in a deeper way. They're just stressing themselves out, they're overreacting things (like "It's not crush anymore, it's probably LOVE"), they're drifting away their focus on their schooling. I still remember when I was still in Grade 6, me and my classmates are really focused on our studies because our grades will determine if we could get our certificate and jump in to high school or REPEAT. We've been busy for our rehearsals for our graduation day and many other things were happening that we didn't even give a single crap about that "love" thingy. 

     A 13-year old girl calling another girl a "slut" for flinging with her boyfriend. For Pete's sake. A 13 year-old girl having a boyfriend? Yeah, it's common nowadays. Plus the fact that a 13-year old mouths "slut" to everybody that would fling with her boyfriend... and in that kind of situation, this girl will go to a social networking site and then rant out all of her emotions there and when she's done, she'll be feeling great because she got attention of the whole world. Why rant out there? You can create your own diary. Personalize it and keep all your secrets there. Just make sure you have a lock or keep it very well. You won't annoy people with your dramas and you'll improve your writing skills! If you don't like putting up a diary, why won't you tell the problem to your parents? They'll give you the perfect advice and you just engaged a open forum in your family. You won't feel guilty because they know what you're doing... unless you hide it from them. If you feel uneasy telling your parents, then your BFFs can rescue you. They'll give you nice advice (especially when there's someone who is matured, the flow of conversation will be smooth.) Don't rant in the Internet. It's like you're stripping in front of the whole world. Another reminder, don't tell other people your weaknesses because they might use it against you, so keep your secrets with yourself and if you'll be sharing your problems, take note that if you tell your problems to 3 or more people, you do not want help. You want ATTENTION. If you are, then it's like the same when you rant out in a site. Anyway, I'm just curious how these teenagers manage to be in a relationship while being busy in school and if their parents know about the things they've been going through.

     An 11-year old girl bursting out to tears just because her crush didn't like her recent posts. My goodness. Instead of locking up your door and crying up all night, why wouldn't you try to answer your homework in Science or help your Mom to prepare dinner? It's not the end of the world if he didn't like your posts. Either he don't like you or he really doesn't like you. So just choose among those choices. LOL. But if get his attention well congratulations. Job well done.

     A 15-year old grumbles where the heck he could he find his forever. Let the love find you. You're in 9th grade and I bet the algebra lessons are getting tougher... so choose if you will find your lover first or save your grade for the better. You're still young to open your mind to these kind of things. Oh look, we're not gonna live here forever, so good luck if you insist to find your forever. True love will come along in your way if you're matured enough and you can handle serious relationships. However, if you have your "forever", just don't take things seriously. Perhaps you think you're in love, but believe me. It's just puppy love. Don't push yourself to your limitations or else you'll say hello to a younger version of you after nine months. (if you now what I mean.)

     An 18-year old  gets hundreds of likes just because of her CLEAFIE (a selfie emphasizing a cleavage). Shout out to the famewhores out there! This paragraph is for you. To be famous you need to be good-looking first. (If you aren't, you may fill your current selfie with lots of effects.) Then you need to have a very nice figure and sassy clothes that people could see your cleavage (because it is an attraction to likers) or extremely short skirts or shorts that people could see your undies and butt. Insert a non-sense quote to that cleafie to sum it all up then wait. Easy right? Why wouldn't you try to be more challenging? That is to be decent enough to be firm to stand with your dignity. If you'll post selfies / groupies, make sure you're wearing decent clothes because many youths are using the Internet and they may see your p*rn star outfit and you might influence them to be like you. The only reason that these kind of social climbers go online is because they want to gain a huge number of likes and ATTENTION. They like to show the whole world their body and let others fantasize it. Even though there's plenty of good reasons to take a selfie, we shouldn't abuse it or be too extreme.

    If you got hit on my statements above, then if the shoe fits in, feel free to wear it.