Everytime I hear his name, his wide smile fills up my mind. His sparkling eyes that stares at me gives me chills. I like his boisterous laugh where you can see his hundred teeth that you even need to wear sunglasses so your eyes wouldn't be hurt. His weird voice that makes my heart skip a beat everytime he sings (especially when he knows that he's out of tune), his jokes that makes me laugh even though it's not funny. He goes there beside me, just staring on what am I doing. He even threw me pick-up lines that makes me blush. He's so good to me whenever I feel nobody does. He's the only who cares for me when no one did. I like everything he does, I like what's in him. I LIKE HIM.
He cheered me up when I was down. He treated me like a princess. He let me feel special even in a short time. Questions are conquering my mind again...
Is he the one for me?
Will I experience what my friends does?
Can I relate myself to them more?
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I left them unanswered. I want HIM to answer it for me.
"Yes, I am the one for you. The one you've been waiting for so many years. Yes darling, we'll experience what they are doing but we'll do it more better than them. You'll relate yourself to them more for we'll be making our very own love story that will be written in the history."
Of course, I am daydreaming! Probably, it may happen on some books, but never in the reality. I'm used to it, to be hurt. Three rejections. Three big rejections that almost ruined my life. When I attempted at my first, I stopped myself for I am too young. The second one, he doesn't like me, but my best friend, he does. The third one... he ignores me and he really torn my heart. In this fourth attempt, I wish he'll never break it for it took me years to heal it...
Oh! He's my source of joy. I don't know why, but I'm extremely happy when I'm with him. He's the one who usually wipes my tears; he gives me his words of wisdom. He always wanted to reach out for me that makes me feel that I'm special to him. He said that he's happy with me. Is it? Am I special to him? I hope so...
But the only permanent in this world is change.
After one month of sweetness, everything is just a memory now. His sweetness turned into bitterness. I can still hear his sweet lines, but that's not for me anymore, but into somebody else. He's the one who wipes my tears but now, he's the reason behind it. I see him happy, but I really hope that I'm still the one, the one behind his smiles, but definitely not. He found someone better than me! He sees that I don't care, but deep inside myself, I'm holding back my tears. I'm breaking inside. I thought he's the one. He helped me to move on for my third attempt. He told me that he's happy with me. I thought there's a SPARK between us, but I think, I'm the only one who feels it. We used to do what we usually do everytime we're together, but now, he's doing it with someone else.
Hey, I'm sorry! I was serious on what we we're doing, but it was just a fling for you. Yes, a fling. All this time. I thought there was something, but there's none. I thought you're the heaven's sent for my agonizing heart, but no. You weren't. Everything was scripted; you manipulated me, gave me false hopes... how dare you to play with my heart... Well I'm moving on for I am tired of this. Fourth attempt, failed. No, I won't stop loving for the sake of loving me back. I will come back stronger... and thank you for the memories, it's just a snapshot of the past now.
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